‘One’s Philosophy is not best expressed in words; it is expressed in the choices one makes…and the choices we make are ultimately our responsibility’.
------- Eleanor Roosevelt
‘Our Life is defined by the choices we make’.
There are so many times we come across these quotes about choices and yet the full implication of these quotes only hits us when we start analyzing our life.
No one would deny that every second of our life we make choices whether to have a tea or coffee, whether to become a doctor or businessman, whether to marry Mona or Sona, whether to put our ego down and apologize or keep the ego intact, whether to conquer one’s fears or to live a mediocre life, whether to believe in yourself and your intuition or to concur with what’s being told to you right from your childhood, whether to stay in a dead relationship and give your children a family or get out of that relationship and make your child face the trauma of an incomplete family, whether to stand up to injustice or to keep quiet and compromise.
Choices, Choices and Choices…how many of you have been confused what to choose? How many of you have later regretted that they should have opted for another choice? How many of you felt that your colleague has a better ability to make decisions? How many of you go through anguish in crisis or in a stressful situation just because you can’t decide? How many of you at the age of 60 feel that, ‘I wish I had done a particular thing different.’ Or ‘be proud of the choice you made 30 years ago.’
Whenever, I start to regret on any choice I have made during the course of my life, I remember one statement that a friend once told me,
‘The choice you make at any particular time of your life is the best choice you could have made in that particular circumstance.’
This statement, if you understand properly involves the aspect of fate or destiny; it also states that the choices you make at any particular point in time also depends on your state of mind. For ex, if you have to choose between: a) Overcoming fear and live a rich life or b) Give in to your fears and live a mediocre life.
Now, if you have lived your life till now with a lot of fear i.e. fear of speech, fear of what other people say, etc. then there are high chances that whenever there is any opportunity to do something big, you would choose option ‘b’.
And you will choose option ‘a’, if you have lived your life till now with lot of love i.e. you could always express want you have wanted, you were never afraid to show your creativity no matter what the verdict.
Your choices and to what extend you overcome your fear also depends on the extend of ‘fear’ or ‘love’ you are filled with.
The first step is... don’t beat yourself up for the decisions you had made in the past instead, look at why you took that particular decision… was it because there was any kind of fear attached to it. Let’s do one exercise here:
1) Take one choice you have made in the past which you have regretted. Write it down.
2) Write down why you regret it and what you regret about it. Cry about it, if you feel like.
3) Ask yourself why did you make that choice…was there really no other option, or what stopped you from opting for the other choice. Think about it. Go deeper into the why’s.
4) Be honest to yourself.
5) The next decision you make in life…wait…think about why you making that particular decision. Is it because you really want to make that choice or because it’s your parent, your sibling, your neighbor, or your boss’s choice.
We @ FUDOL (fillingupthedash-esoflife) Therapies would not only address your guilt and regret over the past choices you have made but also help you work with your fear so that when you make the next choice, you make from a clear state of mind.
FUDOL (fillingupthedash-esoflife) Therapies would act as a platform where you could gain back your control to make your own decisions, and to figure out a way to work with your mind as well as your heart so that the decisions you make are backed not only with logic but also with intuit.
DARSHA Gandhi Mehta
(Psychotherapist & Counsellor, Hypnotherapist, Past Life Regression Therapist; Colour & Aura Therapist, Graphologist, Angel & Crystal Advisor)
(Psychotherapist & Counsellor, Hypnotherapist, Past Life Regression Therapist; Colour & Aura Therapist, Graphologist, Angel & Crystal Advisor)
We Do Online & Phone Counselling Sessions
+(91) 9869660362; contact@fudoltherapies.com
This is really true and apt for all of us. Everything we do involves making choices - and some may be right while some maybe wrong ones we select. Your thoughts are inspiring and confidence boosting Darsha!
ReplyDeleteWe make choices out of options available, perceived or created. Most often, we decide based on available knowledge about each option, which is unfortunately insufficient to justify making a choice.
ReplyDeleteAlso, often we are forced to make a choice as a last resort, after rejecting most options and being left with one option, which is not necessarily the best.
Later, we find that the outcome of our choice was not as we wanted. By that time, the situation may also have changed so much that the choice seems silly or stupid. We are then filled with a lot of regret, which makes us less capable of making the next choice of repairing the after-effects of the first choice.
Since we can never make a 100% correct choice, it is important to remain aware of the process following the making of the choice and be prepared to make mid course corrections which also may not be 100% perfect. A strong belief in the destiny can help us remain peaceful and willing to accept.
Those who make choices out of the ego that they are most competent to do so suffer a lot because when things go wrong, they are unable to accept the outcome gracefully; instead they end up taking further actions with worse attitudes.
A good one.. Brainstorming.. Forces you to think..reflect back upon what could have been different.
ReplyDeleteA good one.. very brainstorming.. forces you to reflect upon your deeds/actions or decisions taken in the past !!
ReplyDelete