EGO

                                                                                                                

Have you always misunderstood a person who is telling you the truth about yourself or showing you the mirror but have got attracted towards people or have preferred staying with people who always agree with you ... whether you are on the right track or the wrong track?

Have you been so blind that to hide your mistakes/weaknesses you prefer staying away and condemning that person/situation which might bring you face to face with your weakness?

Have you been so blind in saving yourself from humiliation that you make the other people's life a misery?  

Have you been so used to your comfort zone that you are rejecting all the opportunities of growth?

Have you been so engraved in how life is unfair to you that you forget to see all the things life has given to you?

Have you been surrounded by fear to such an extent that you become rigid about any change happening in the surrounding and just prefer to stay in the old way of living or old patterns of life?

We @FUDOL Therapies believe that, "A Person's EGO can either break him or make him."

We define EGO in 2 ways: A Shallow EGO and A Strong EGO

A Shallow EGO is where a person does not want to see his weakness but, to satisfy his ego he indulges in bullying others, putting other person down to show himself superior, to keep blaming other people/situation/circumstances, he would keep taking credit of any small thing he has done for others, he is comfortable with only those people who are praising him, they fluctuate in their loyalties depending upon who supports him, can change his perspective according to what benefits him, they want control without taking any responsibility, etc.

A Shallow EGO develops in the childhood...when parents keep encouraging their child no matter how incorrectly they behave, when parents always want children to be under their control resulting in making them their handicap where they can't think for themselves and can't self - analyze, never point out their child's mistakes or show their weaknesses as they live in notion that their child can never make any mistakes, where the parents don't nudge a child towards progress or independent thinking and the child is always discouraged to ask questions but always told to obey....few examples why a person with this kind of up - bringing will develop a Shallow EGO.

A Strong EGO is where a person realizes his own weakness and in turn works towards his weaknesses and in turn support others in solving their issues, he takes full responsibilities for his behaviour and takes charge of his life, a person would not keep counting on small things he has done for others because he does not help others for praise but because of the compassion he has in his heart, he takes it positively when someone shows him a mirror, and he has developed that kind of sensibility to recognize people who just praise him or take his side because of their ulterior motives, he has his own stand - which even if no one is supporting it...he will still persuade on it, his first priority will be himself, his family and then he will go and help others, etc.

A Strong EGO develops in childhood where a child is discouraged when he behaves in an inappropriate manner till he learns the other way, his mistakes are being pointed out, his weaknesses are being discussed and together a solution is being found out, in a fight between their child and another child if their child is wrong...the parent wouldn't hesitate to express the same to the child in front of everyone, a parents develop a child's independent thinking and empowers a child in every ways so that he develops quality of inter - dependence, there is no unreasonable demand to obey and opinion of child is always taken into consideration, making him grow within himself by giving responsibility and making the child accountable for those responsibility... few examples why a person with this kind of up - bringing will develop a Strong EGO.

Once these EGO's are developed in childhood it is very difficult to break free from them but again with working hard nothing is impossible as well. If you feel you possessed a Shallow EGO and you feel the need to come out from Shallow Conditioning and Re - Condition yourself to have Strong EGO...we @FUDOL Therapies will always be ready to make this difficult change a reality.

DARSHA Gandhi Mehta

(Psychotherapist & Counsellor, Colour & Aura Therapist, Past Life Regression Therapist, Graphologist, Angel & Crystal Advisor)

We also do Counseling via. Phone, & Online. 

www.fudoltherapies.com

+(91) 9869660362, contact@fudoltherapies.com    

Real Education

You can be literate but not necessarily educated...

You could be educated but not necessarily literate...

By developing different kinds of skills, by polishing your talents, by honing your intellect you can get literate and learn how to earn money ... but that isn't necessarily called Education.

We can be called Educated  when we learn the art of introspection, when we go on the ground and work, when we form relationships, when we bear the pain of break ups; when we dare to dream and we fail and again dare to dream, when our hearts have enough compassion for other living beings, when we encounter real practical difficulties and come out of it, when we accept ours and others limitations, and  when we make our every experience as an opportunity to be wise.

Yes, Literacy Institution are important but along with that one needs to be taught how to find its way out in practical life by giving lot of emphasis on soft yet very powerful skills like making the children do day - to - day activities, make them value relationships, empowering them to handle relationships efficiently, by teaching them how to minimize their stress level, how to not get carried away in the rat race, teach them that every individual is unique and different, teach them to respect themselves and others equally, build their strong SELF's, teach them how to handle bullies, teach them that it's OK to fail and teach them how to grow from failures.

Yes, Literacy Institution indirectly does teach the above soft skills but not consciously and not everyone learns. Why not make these literacy institution in real sense Educational Institution where these soft skills are given its due importance.

Our children spent nearly 20 years of their life getting literate ...first finishing their pre - school, nursery, schooling of 10 years, college 2 years, graduation 3 years, post graduation 2 years.

How many students when they come out can be called educated and have gained some wisdom?
How many students are confident to handle relationships, failures of life, have high self - image to dream and fulfill those dreams?
How many students know how to extract wisdom out of every experience?

Some children might require special attention in some things or in a particular area say for example: Self - Confidence. Isn't it every child's right to get its due attention? Everyone knows there is shortage of teachers, good staff, etc. etc. Can't we think out of the box. There has to be answer to all these obstacles.

There are schools that have started focusing on soft skills. Schools have started giving importance to every student. Teachers are giving due attention to each child... but How many such schools exist? and How many parent can afford such school's fees?

It's high time Education Institution become...

A Center to Build Strong Self - Image of a Child,

A Platform where molding of a Child's Mind - Heart - Soul Happens,
Where Emotional - Psychological - Physical - Mental - Spiritual Enhancement Happens.

DARSHA Gandhi Mehta

(Psychotherapist & Counsellor, Colour & Aura Therapist, Past Life Regression Therapist, Graphologist, Angel & Crystal Advisor)

We also do Counseling via. Phone, & Online. 

www.fudoltherapies.com

+(91) 9869660362, contact@fudoltherapies.com   

Secured and Protected

Has it happen to you anytime that a close one you know is incurred injustice and to soothe his pain that person has to do certain things which might be unacceptable in our society. And you want to stand by that person because you know he is right but, due to what others will think about you, or due to societal backlash at you or societal isolation you are afraid to stand by that person, you are not able to vocally support that person, and you are unable to protect that person who is your closed ones.

Having been gone through a phase where I went in a similar situation where to soothe the injustice that has happened to me... I had to do things which weren't "OK" with the society. And lot of my closed ones were silently supporting me but never vocal about it. Though, I always took it as a sign of adulthood that I am big enough to solve my own issues. I wasn't able to notice the insecurity lurking at the back of my mind until yesterday. Yesterday, out of the blue my 79 year old grandmother without thinking about the consequences stood in my defense and suddenly all my mind tension was dissolved. I felt happy from within, my sense of security increased ten folds and I felt relaxed and understood by the people that matters.

There are a lot of close ones around us who are struggling with injustice in their Home - Work - Societal - Personal front and they are compelled to go against societal "norms" or "rules" or what is considered "right" by the society just to protect their sanity. If you genuinely agree to what they are doing is right... do be vocal about it and for heaven sake don't keep quiet. If you can't stand by them and protect them its fine. But, be vocal that you understand that person's need to do this.

Three Things will happen:
A) You will be encouraging what you feel is Right. Immense Inner Satisfaction.

B) You will able to release that person from any minutest form of guilt he has of doing something against the societal norms (as it is deep in our system to comply to the rights n wrongs of the society).

C) By being vocal,  you are reducing the chances of your closed one getting into any kind of depression due to loneliness, social isolation, condemnation faced, etc.

Same goes for your Children...
When you think your child or any other child in the family are saying/doing/thinking the right thing but, it might go against the system or against the family rituals...at least listen to them, to their points, and even if you can't do anything about it... make them know that you agree to what their points are but, you aren't able to do anything about it because of whatever your reasons.
Honesty is the best policy with children as children will love you for at least listening to them and being vocally supportive of them. You will become their Best Friend for life and it will reduced their rebellion streak... in turn, it will reduce the risk of any kind of addiction, suicides risk and isolation.

If possible...do stand for your children if you feel they are right in what they are thinking/saying/doing. It will be the highest security you can instill in your children. They will know that no matter what the situation/age/circumstances my closed ones will always be there to protect me. Spiritually if we see, once this security is instilled in a child's psyche he/she in future will also start attracting people who will stand by them in crisis. Thus, creating secured adults and adults who are able to trust other human beings - thus, avoiding paranoid schizophrenia and making our world a better place to live.

There are lot of factors which will contribute to an secured adult...but atleast we can start from the things which are in our hands.

Secured Adults is the Best Gift we can Give our Creator.

DARSHA Gandhi Mehta

(Psychotherapist & Counsellor, Colour & Aura Therapist, Past Life Regression Therapist, Graphologist, Angel & Crystal Advisor)

We also do Counseling via. Phone, & Online. 

www.fudoltherapies.com

+(91) 9869660362, contact@fudoltherapies.com   

Roots

My Teacher used to tell me, “Anyone can succeed by pulling other people down, it takes character to succeed by uplifting others along with you.”

You have succeeded – You have gone down – You have again taken a leap of success – Again, you have gone down.

There are a few people who will keep growing continuously in their financial position through generations to come.

There are a lot of people who find it very difficult to sustain success. I am talking success in terms of financial standing and achieving one’s ambition. 

When success does not stay in your life or there is no steady growth. That’s the time one needs to check one’s Roots’.

We @FUDOL Therapy define Roots as anything you have been given on your birth like your Family, Society, Mother Land, Humanity & Nature.

Ask Questions Like:

Have you taken along all your family members in your success story?

Have you in the process of being successful, done a lot of unfairness to any of your family member like: condemned or mocked or harmed your “weaker” family member; being insensitive to your sibling or any member of your family who is not as successful as you are? 

Have you harmed your society and your Mother Land for your success?

Have you taken undue advantage of people working under you?

Have you behaved badly with the women of your house – forgetting their role in your success?

Has Mother Nature played price for your success?

Have you forgotten that behind your success there are a lot of people’s support, prayers and help?

These above questions will help you answer whether you have taken care of your roots while succeeding. 

If you also uplift your roots along with uplifting yourself then, surely the foundation of your success will be far more stronger and thus the growth and sustainability.

If you want us to assist you in strengthening your Roots then book an appointment.

DARSHA Gandhi Mehta

(Psychotherapist & Counsellor, Colour & Aura Therapist, Past Life Regression Therapist, Graphologist, Angel & Crystal Advisor)

We also do Counseling via. Phone, & Online. 

www.fudoltherapies.com

+(91) 9869660362, contact@fudoltherapies.com   

Dusk of Jainism (Stanakvasi Sect)

Jainism is an ancient religion from India that teaches that the way to liberation and bliss – is to live life of harmlessness and renunciation. The aim of Jainism is to achieve liberation of soul. Stanakvasi is a sect of Jainism that believes that soul is nirakar “without any form”, and hence do not pray to any statue. Stanak is a place where stanakvasi’s male saints called as, “Maharaj Saheb” and female Saint “MahaSatiji” resides (though, both can’t live in one stanak together). When a person becomes a Saint in Stanakvasi or takes Diksha – they renounce the material world and follow the path of Jainism which would include: Ahimsa (non – violent), Satya (truthfulness), Asteya (non stealing), Aparigraha (non acquisition), and Brahmacharya (chaste living). They are trained before they become Saint to follow and preach these 5 basic vows. Stanak is handled and managed by Shravaks – devotees of Jainism to take care of Saints.     

Recently, one of the biggest Stanak’s in India went through its darkest phase. All 5 vows were broken. Ego’s, Anger, Parigrah, Asatya, etc were seen at its peak. It saddens me to see the state of Jainism – no religion should get degraded to such a level.

But, on a 2^nd thought, this degradation has been happening for a long time now. What happened @ the largest stanak of Jain was quite inevitable.

If the first time saints entered the management of stanaks – it should have been stopped.

If small changes would have been accepted by the rigid but, good intent shravaks then, perhaps today Jainism’s protection would not have gone to ignorant shravaks.

If we would not have cut ourselves from the Roots of Hinduism...Jainism would have been still firmly rooted.

If we would have shown that maturity and strictness to not let a 5 year old or 16 year old take Diksha and become a Saint -  then probably Jainism would have Saints who understand its principles to the core and correctly. 

If only the scriptures were translated in English @ the right time so that the Youths would not digress from the core and traditional Jainism.

If only the emphasis was given more to reducing anger, greed, hatred in oneself rather then fasting and other rituals – then the dusk of Jainism would not have been inevitable.

With all the ‘If’s’ and ‘But’s’ in my mind ...I still think dusk for Stanakvasi Jain was inevitable as... whenever, ripples of change is ignored/suppressed/mocked at it will become an uncontrollable force which will come alongwith, big and shallow EGO, Blindness and Greed and has the capacity to shake any virtuous people, religion and situation.

Ending this Blog with a belief that again virtuous generations who value the core principles of Jainism would be born and Stanakvasi Jain religion will see its dawn and again reach to its heights of Glory, Sanity and Purity.

DARSHA Gandhi Mehta

(Psychotherapist & Counsellor, Colour & Aura Therapist, Past Life Regression Therapist, Graphologist, Angel & Crystal Advisor)

We also do Counseling via. Phone, & Online. 

www.fudoltherapies.com

+(91) 9869660362, contact@fudoltherapies.com