Has it happen to you anytime that a close one you know is incurred
injustice and to soothe his pain that person has to do certain things which
might be unacceptable in our society. And you want to stand by that person because
you know he is right but, due to what others will think about you, or due to societal
backlash at you or societal isolation you are afraid to stand by that person,
you are not able to vocally support that person, and you are unable to protect
that person who is your closed ones.
Having been gone through a phase where I went in a similar
situation where to soothe the injustice that has happened to me... I had to do
things which weren't "OK" with the society. And lot of my closed ones
were silently supporting me but never vocal about it. Though, I always took it
as a sign of adulthood that I am big enough to solve my own issues. I wasn't
able to notice the insecurity lurking at the back of my mind until yesterday.
Yesterday, out of the blue my 79 year old grandmother without thinking about
the consequences stood in my defense and suddenly all my mind tension was
dissolved. I felt happy from within, my sense of security increased ten folds
and I felt relaxed and understood by the people that matters.
There are a lot of close ones around us who are struggling
with injustice in their Home - Work - Societal - Personal front and they are compelled
to go against societal "norms" or "rules" or what is
considered "right" by the society just to protect their sanity. If
you genuinely agree to what they are doing is right... do be vocal about it and
for heaven sake don't keep quiet. If you can't stand by them and protect them
its fine. But, be vocal that you understand that person's need to do this.
Three Things will happen:A) You will be encouraging what you feel is Right. Immense Inner Satisfaction.
B) You will able to release that person from any minutest
form of guilt he has of doing something against the societal norms (as it is
deep in our system to comply to the rights n wrongs of the society).
C) By being vocal,
you are reducing the chances of your closed one getting into any kind of
depression due to loneliness, social isolation, condemnation faced, etc.Same goes for your Children...
When you think your child or any other child in the family are saying/doing/thinking the right thing but, it might go against the system or against the family rituals...at least listen to them, to their points, and even if you can't do anything about it... make them know that you agree to what their points are but, you aren't able to do anything about it because of whatever your reasons.
Honesty is the best policy with children as children will love you for at least listening to them and being vocally supportive of them. You will become their Best Friend for life and it will reduced their rebellion streak... in turn, it will reduce the risk of any kind of addiction, suicides risk and isolation.
If possible...do stand for
your children if you feel they are right in what they are
thinking/saying/doing. It will be the highest security you can instill in your
children. They will know that no matter what the situation/age/circumstances my
closed ones will always be there to protect me. Spiritually if we see, once
this security is instilled in a child's psyche he/she in future will also start
attracting people who will stand by them in crisis. Thus, creating secured adults and adults who are able to trust other
human beings - thus, avoiding paranoid schizophrenia and making our world a
better place to live.
There are lot of factors which will contribute to an secured
adult...but atleast we can start from the things which are in our hands.
Secured Adults is the Best Gift we can Give our Creator.
DARSHA Gandhi Mehta
(Psychotherapist & Counsellor, Colour & Aura Therapist, Past Life Regression Therapist, Graphologist, Angel & Crystal Advisor)
We also do Counseling via. Phone, & Online.
www.fudoltherapies.com
+(91) 9869660362, contact@fudoltherapies.com
Well said, Darsha. I can very well relate to this. :)
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