Family Politics

One learns a lot of things from being in a family full of parents, siblings, uncles, aunts, cousins, grandparents. Definitely there are as many negatives as positives.

There are positives in living in a Joint Family ... but that only gets highlighted if you have introspected... like Sacrificing and Tolerant Nature, Children get exposure to love and care of many adults, Developing Sustenance in Difficult Times of the Family rather than start Blaming each other, How to maintain your Self - Respect when others are condemning you without any solid reason, Being Assertive... It would be your School which trains you for future life.

Among few negatives there is one negative which I want to talk: Family Politics.

Family Politics is something I could never ever understand and never see any benefit of it in a family structure. I have seen politics happening in almost all the families - no family whether big or small, joint or nuclear, upper class - middle class - lower class is devoid of politics.

@FUDOL we define Family Politics as a mindset based on Insecurity which will not let one appreciate and accept other people... which leads to a selfish nature or a cold heart... only thinking about what's good for oneself and not leading to good for the whole family thus, in turn not thinking what's good for the whole nation.

For Example:  

a) Rather than standing by a "weak" family member in their difficult times one would see to it how he/she would break that person more,

b) Rather than creating a trusting environment for your daughter - in - law, you keep criticizing her, condemning her for no solid reasons and keep on telling your son how bad is she.

c) Rather than instilling the right values of Support/Patience/Tolerance between siblings - the parents instill the values of competition, so that they can control both their children.

Many times one can see educated people and families indulging in such politics... making one to conclude that education makes no difference to the mind set ... our education is not changing our outlook or narrow mindedness of our minds but, yes an example set by our parents definitely does.

Family members by the time they turn 20 years of age have developed the skill set to become a seasoned politician - to that extend politics is deep seated in our families.

If adult's need to control and possess the other family members diminishes...we will have much less mess in our families. If Family Structure has to work - distribution and organization of wealth, responsibilities, duties, roles are needed so that every member is empowered with his own likes and dislikes taken into consideration and the importance of inter - dependence is also proven.

Family is meant to protect each other, support each other, and grow together... Why are we losing this core family value? Let's get this core family value in place so that each family member - in turn each family - in turn each nation is supportive of each other, protective of each other, grows together.

Encourage Supportiveness in the family than Competitiveness, Encourage Problem - Solving/Solution Based talk rather than Gossips and Bitching about Each Other, Education on being Human, Workshops for spouses before they plan a Child are few ways families can use to change a mindset from Family Politics to Family Togetherness.      

  

 DARSHA Gandhi Mehta

(Psychotherapist & Counsellor, Colour & Aura Therapist, Past Life Regression Therapist; Graphologist, Angel & Crystal Advisor)

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