A line between EGO and SELF - RESPECT

I always used to feel that Ego should never enter into a relationship. Maybe, I still feel the same thing. But, somewhere sometimes that fine line between Ego and Self – Respect gets crossed...

Many of us go out of our way for people whom we love...thinking that’s the way it’s supposed to be. Maybe, but we forget to keep our expectations in check. We start expecting that the other person also should love you the same way....ouch! “Resulting in hurt”.

Many times we would give all the love we have in us to the person we love...maybe, that’s how it is supposed to be...giving that person our 100%. But, what if you are just at the giving end and there isn’t much receiving of Love happening...oops! Would the Love start getting “exhausted”?

Many times there is a feeling lurking at the back of your mind..."Why isn’t he (he/she) interested in listening to what I have to say?” But you ignore that feeling and keep living in that pretext that both of you are equally involved in the relationship. Is somewhere this feeling “crushing” your self – esteem?

You are always on the lookout for doing something special for that person. May be sometimes you write a love letter for him, other times you make a photo album for him, some other time you just give a rose and say how special he is for you. Do you wonder why there are no such attempts... to make you feel special, coming from the other end? Is it because he is not expressive? Do you somewhere doubt your “special” place in that person’s heart?

Has that happened many times that you only keep buzzing/pinging/calling that person? He hardly initiates the buzzing/pinging/calling you? Do you ignore that on the pretext that it’s okay I don’t want Ego to come in my relationship? But, are you really “okay”?

Does he always make you feel jealous by talking about other girls? Is it happening too often? Do you have that feeling that your “importance” in that relationship is lessened?

When in love, you always try to keep the other person’s problems, needs, smile ahead than your own? Do you feel that there are very rare occasions your problems, needs, smiles are kept into fore front? Are you left with the feeling of “taken for granted”?

If the answers to all the above questions are NO...then there is no need to read any further. If the answer is to any or all the above questions are YES...then let’s see why you end up feeling miserable within yourself, less important, taken for granted, not special, crushed, exhausted, etc.

Is the other person to be blamed for how you feel? How many days/months/years you have let these feelings lurk in your psyche and not addressed them properly? How many subtle hints given to you by that person was just ignored because you want to stay in a fairytale that say, “he will always be mine and I have every right to cling to him.” Are you unclear whether your love is unconditional or you require an equal amount of give­­­ n take in your relationships?  

The minute you make the other person more important in a relationship...you have crossed that fine line between Ego and Self – Respect.

It takes a lifetime or various births to learn how to Love unconditionally. So here, we are only talking of a relationship where both of them have expectations and the relationship is considered healthy with an equal amount of Give – Take from both the people involved. When there is an imbalance in this give – take that’s when these above feeling crops in. If not addressed properly it would, lead to communication gap, misunderstanding, doubts, manipulation, game playing, etc.

If in case, you have already confronted that person and still those feelings keep persisting than you need to take a back seat. Maybe, you aren’t giving him a chance to show his Love in his own way. Maybe, before he buzzes you, you have already buzzed him. Maybe, he is so overwhelmed by how special he is for you that it has never occurred to him that he also needs to reciprocate that feeling. So, take a back seat for sometime...till then take care of yourself, love yourself, groom yourself and see how it adds spice to your relationship.

If it backfires and he doesn’t respond the way described in the above paragraph then, you definitely deserve someone who loves you equally, who makes you feel special, who understands and respects your needs as much as he understands his.     

In one single line:

“A Relationship starts losing its charm when the other person becomes more important then you...”

@ FUDOL Therapies we are not saying we are an expert in relationships but we will definitely help you recognize and be your support when you are re – discovering your lost importance.

DARSHA Gandhi Mehta
(Psychotherapist & Counsellor, Hypnotherapist, Past Life Regression Therapist; Colour & Aura Therapist, Graphologist, Angel & Crystal Advisor)

We Do Online & Phone Counselling Sessions

www.fudoltherapies.com

+(91) 9869660362; contact@fudoltherapies.com