Journey of Forgiveness

According to FUDOL, "To FORGIVE means to develop an awareness - that it is useless to hold on grudges towards people who you feel have harmed you in any ways and go beyond your anger, hurt, and pain to an understanding of what exactly compassion or empathy means."

Let me here explain to you with some scenarios:

A] Betrayal: Someone has betrayed you very badly in business or any kind of relationship. Your trust has been broken, you knew, "Something is amiss", "Wish I could have been more vigilant."

Unaware State: You are angry, you are in pain because of that person's action, you curse that person.

Aware State: You empathetically think that maybe that person is so afraid in his life for his survival and must be so insecured from within, which has lead to such actions. Let that incident go and move on.

Maturity Lessons: You will experience the biggest and toughest lesson of your life - to feel compassionate for people who you feel have harmed you. Now, next time along with being trustful you will also be vigilant and work on all the aspects you have been lethargic about.

You Start Taking Charge of Your Life.    

B] Justice: Maybe you are seeking for rights in property (legally) or in a relationship you are begging for your rights to your spouse.

Unaware State: I will fight for it (property), beg for it (relationship), get angry on it, cry about your life being miserable because of that person or situation, etc.

Aware State: You will feel compassionate for that person and say to yourself, "Maybe, he/she does not realize the value of relationships. God Bless him/her. I send him/her a lot of love. Universe will take care of me."       

Maturity Lessons:  You are a much bigger being than a single relationship/property. You have rights on all the things which Universe has to offer. Your purpose in life is maybe different than just staying in that situation and begging for your rights - Let the situation/relationships which does not recognize your worth help you to reach your potential.

Reaching Your Highest and Truest Potential.

C] Ganging Up: You are going through the toughest phase of your life but the people who you consider your family/friends gang up against you - show no empathy, become heartless to your pain, your heartache, become cold to your suffering due to their selfish motives.

Unaware State: You think, speak and behave in a negative way in front of them and when they are not present. Everyday getting disturbed by what they have done, not able to concentrate, and feel irritated.

Aware State: Well, maybe my this set of family/friends are not present positively when I am going through my toughest phase in life. But, there is this another set of family/friends which are standing behind me positively and firmly.

Maturity Lesson: Universe/God will never let me be alone. It isn't necessary that I will receive support and help from close ones that I have supported & helped. But, definitely will be supported/helped by the Universe.

Whenever next I support/help a person - it will be unconditional and with out any expectations.

    

We @FUDOL understand that it is very difficult for most of us to fill the gap from Unaware State to Aware State to reach our Maturity Lessons. That's why we have called it a Journey of Forgiveness. This journey of forgiveness will not be easy - but, it will definitely  be worth it. In this Journey of Forgiveness, FUDOL will always be your support and guide.

Levels which the JOURNEY of FORGIVENESS Workshop will have:

1) Dealing With Emotions

2) Shortcomings
3) Confusions
4)  Awareness
5) Forgiveness
6) Maturity Lessons

Do Join our JOURNEY of FORGIVENESS Workshop if:

You want to go Beyond What has Happened,

           
         You want to Grow in Positive Direction,

                       You want to Find the Purpose of that Situation/Relationship Happening in your Life.  

DARSHA Gandhi Mehta

(Psychotherapist & Counsellor, Colour & Aura Therapist, Past Life Regression Therapist, Graphologist, Angel & Crystal Advisor)

We also do Counseling via. Phone, & Online. 

www.fudoltherapies.com

+(91) 9869660362
contact@fudoltherapies.com    

  

Marriage III

1950's 1960's  - Our grandparent's time they were very clear that a husband will go and earn money and take care of all the expenses and wife would take care of the house, cook food , entertain guest, give birth to children and raise them.

Belief: A wife is the shadow of her husband. Husband is Wife's God (pati parmeshwar). Both of them fulfilled their roles with conviction and full sincerity.

1970's, 1980's 1990's - Our parent's though had the same concepts fit by their parents in their mind...but, since it was not their belief they had no conviction. They lacked courage to voice their opinions, views about system of marriage.

Belief: This is how it has been since ages...it has to be right. May be pati is parmeshwar...but, some how he doesn't act like one. Wife is doing all the household chores and raising children but, somewhere it is not happening like it should happen.

2000's 2010's - With the onsite of globalization and internet getting a prominent place in our life. Whole world was at an individual's disposal. Parents were making their daughters as educated as their sons (which was a constructive thing) but, parents didn't make their son understand that times have changed and your wife will be different and will act different than what your grand mother and mother was. On the other hand, young females were going through tremendous change in their mind -set, their thought process were broadening, their self confidence was increasing as they were realizing that world is much beyond cooking, household work and birthing children.

Beliefs: Wife feels we want a status of equal partner in the marriage whether we are working outside or are home maker. Husband feels why can't she do things like what my mother and grandmother used to do and give me some peace of mind. None of them are able to fulfill any roles properly and sincerely. And thus, increasing confusion, complications and emotional disturbances.

Lets see what are the complication:

- Wife wants to explore the whole world and husband wants to possess her,

-Husband wants to dominate her and wife has her own thought - process and her own ideas of life concepts,

- Husbands wants all the appreciation and his Ego is only intact if the wife listens and does what he tells her to do, wife thinks "I will not compromise like my mom did" and she always gets stubborn on what she wants in life,

- Wife want her husband to fulfilling all her needs but, she does not on the other hand take any responsibility of the house so that the husband can peacefully go and earn money for her.

- Even if the wife is handling the house...there is constant struggle between her and her mother - in law or the rest of his family.

- Husband's and Wife's families continuously keep interfering in couples life making their life's all the more complicated and tiresome.  

- Wife continuously keep feeling "If I do house work I won't be respected" and she keeps making half effort in that and in that fear she neither takes care of her house properly, nor children are given justice.

With the changing world, the institution of marriage right now is going through tremendous pressure.

 We @FUDOL Therapies say, we need to re- evaluate the purpose of marriage:

More than pro - creation, let a marriage be a union where both of them support each other in all areas of life. Why can't a wife do her career along with household and raising children? Why can't a husband help his wife handle the household and in raising children? Yes, it has started in few urban household and with couples who live independently. It should be out of respect for each other's individuality not because it is been enforced on the other partner. 

Every person comes with a preconceived notions, baggage, expectations in marriage and most of them are not able to now handle the pressures of marriage, raising kids because they aren't working as a team - as a union. They just want to control, dominate and overpower each other - further pushing the next generation away from Marriage as your children are definitely seeing this things.

After a lot of careful thought...FUDOL Therapies has come out with a well balanced Pre - Marital Counseling Sessions which will have:

- Removing of past baggage,  - Checking any un - realistic expectations, - Knowing oneself better to decide on one's partner with clarity, - Removing all the fears and negativity involving marriage, - Family counseling, - Soul Mate Therapy Workshops, - Family Orbit Meditation, - How to deal with an issue post - marriage in a positive and constructive way rather than out of shallow ego and in a destructive way.

Let's Be Ourselves in front of our partners when we enter Marriage.

Let's make Marriage an Institution where we support each other for each other's Emotional - Spiritual Growth.

Let's work on ourselves and our marriage before we marry rather than getting into the hassle of divorce.

For Further Details:

 DARSHA Gandhi Mehta

(Psychotherapist & Counsellor, Colour & Aura Therapist, Past Life Regression Therapist, Graphologist, Angel & Crystal Advisor)

We also do Counseling via. Phone, & Online. 

www.fudoltherapies.com,   +(91) 9869660362

contact@fudoltherapies.com   

Catharsis

Dictionary definition of Catharsis is, "the process of releasing and thereby, providing relief from, strong or repressed emotions". 

The process of releasing long kept, strong emotions which are deeply repressed inside one self regarding past/current challenge and a sudden relief from it is called the Process of Catharsis.

It is important for everyone who is going through any kind of challenges to talk about their challenges. It would also help to get a professional view on it so that you are not only seeing where you are going wrong but, it also supports you to fulfill life's purpose of giving you that challenge so that your soul can go to another level...so that over - all growth can happen out of these challenges.

In this blog, I am sharing my story as I know sharing it will act as a catharsis for me. And it is a step to encourage the readers to reach their catharsis by sharing their own stories.  

My challenging phase started in 2009, when I preferred standing up for what I am and thus,  refusing to bow down or obey any undesirable wishes and control of others. Eventually, I was surrounded by web of manipulation, lies, and criticism against me, I was ridiculed and put down on every instance and every relationship I had build with so much love and affection was being systematically destroyed. My silence was taken as my weakness and not a form of respect for that elder. In spite, of doing everything like it should have been done...it was always portrait in a negative fashion.

Like we say, when bad times come, it surrounds you from all the sides...so, definitely my problems didn't end there...infact, I was thrown into a much major problem which impacted my life in a tremendous way. On hindsight, it changed the course of my life in a big way.

I being a "Warrior Soul" giving up was never an option... the thought of running away from it didn't even cross my mind. There were so many hints from Universe to just "let go" of the issue but, my 'never say die' spirit didn't let me look the other way or towards other areas of my life. Emotional Pain began to creep inside me since, the challenge persisted more than expected. And, as the time passed my energy started depleting to handle the challenge and my emotional pain started increasing.... the web of manipulation, and lies got more stronger against me and people around me started taking pleasure in my disadvantage situation. The false relationships started distancing from me .The people responsible other than me, shred taking any responsibility of the situation. And, for a while, I thought I was alone in this battle...Was I?

No, I was not alone...Universe kept sending its angels to support me, help me...it never kept me alone or stranded. I told my family about the challenge and they acted like healers and my best friends, it send me a beautiful soul being in form of my colour therapist who guided me in my soul - career and help me alleviate myself to a different angle, universe send me missions wherein, I could know my worth and know the stronger part of me. But, still the challenge persisted and the emotional healing was yet miles apart.

Then, a very powerful and strong Earth Angel came into my life....that angel made me realize that...I need to let go of the challenge and de - focus myself completely from the challenge and focus myself on the positive things happening in my life. It was difficult at first to let go of the struggle/battle...but, finally I did let it go and divert my attention to all the positive things happening in my life and it worked wonders to my personality and the more I focused on the positive things happening in my life, the more it increased and the importance of my stuck challenge reduced in my life.

I did make my set of mistakes in an attempt to solve my challenge - I got angry, I blamed, I shouted, I wasted a lot of time, I sulked, I cribbed, I got frustrated, irritated, etc. I also did a lot of positive things - No matter what I didn't shred my responsibility towards myself or anyone else or towards the situation. I always respected the other person's sanctity and I never lost my humanity or compassion for any being.

Well, the challenge is still persisting with a degree of reduction in the challenge. I still have tears in my eyes only by the thought that life would have much different if this issue would have been resolved. But, I am also grateful that if I would not have encountered this challenge in my life... I would not have seen the power of Universe.

Now, I am ready for a different course of life, it's like Universe has given me a second birth, another opportunity to live life right from the scratch ... I am much happier, wiser,  sensible to protect myself from negative energies, and with a firm belief and faith in Universe/God and Myself.          

I would like to share few things I learned throughout this years of facing this one major challenge of my life:

1) Whether people are there with you or not. Whether your sacrifices are valued or not valued. You are able to get justice in your life for the wrong that has happened to you or not. Many times, you feel your "Self's" (self - confident, self - esteem, self - respects) is hurt badly, beyond repair. Remember, you will always be loved and cared and supported. 

Nobody takes care of you better then the God you pray, Your Creator, and the Universal Energy. In some form or the other, Universe, will always give you justice, will make you feel valued and will give you instances to increase your confidence. You need to just recognize it.

2) The more stubborn and unusual the challenge - it is an indication from Universe that you are meant to do something different in life than the usual. Accept it with grace.

3) Addressing  your challenges are important but, don't fully focus on it, that you lose the sight of positive things happening in your life. 

4) A challenge/problem/issue is given by life so that you can look into your rigid belief patterns and negative thoughts, words, actions, habits. Reduce negativity inside you or be done with it and alleviate your soul on to the next level.

5) There are high chances that if a challenge is persistent in your life ...that you have a lot of fears you need to confront. Do identify those fears and tackle with them as and how you are ready.

FUDOL Therapies invites you to share your story either by writing us an email, chatting, face to face meeting or by any other means comfortable for you so, that you can reach a level of catharsis. And your growth can speed up.

DARSHA Gandhi Mehta

(Psychotherapist & Counsellor, Colour & Aura Therapist, Past Life Regression Therapist, Graphologist, Angel & Crystal Advisor)

We also do Counseling via. Phone, & Online. 

www.fudoltherapies.com, +(91) 9869660362

contact@fudoltherapies.com   

Resilient Power & Relationship

When you are sailing with a companion and the water starts giving you trouble ..and you want to sail through and fight the battle with water with full force and you are ready to fight God, Your Fate and Nature for the boat you build it together but the other person is just isn't interested in together fighting the troubled waters. No matter how much you try to pull him/her to the boat, you tell him/her that we will pass this rocky troubled waters... it's just that we both need to do the right thing and keep the boat going together but, in spite of all those confident words and rather than trusting the strength of the bond you share together, the other person's fear over powers him/her and he/she wants to jump into the water and swim to the shore not thinking about you, not thinking about the strength of togetherness but, just how to safely reach the shore by himself/herself and not wanting the burden of you.

Is our marriage/relationship reached that level where in first we always think about ourselves?

How it is going to benefit us to stay in that relationship and we are out to jump out of that relationship at first sign of trouble?

Is our resilient power towards hanging on to our close ones or for that matter hanging on to our partner  when they are going through the troubled waters become less?

Is thinking about yourself first and you shredding off your shoulders of anything causing you any inconvenience including your partner's tough times and what comes along with it...mood swings, irritation, frustration, etc. etc. become OK?

Do you feel sharing your partner or close ones sorrow or sadness as burdening you, lessening your growth and career prospects?

Are we only interested in being safe and calculating and see what we are getting in that relationship?

Have we forgotten to acknowledge what the other person has done for us?

Have we got too scared to sacrifice and compromise for our partner?

Are we just responsible for our feelings and our partner's feelings don't matter?

Why has other aspect of marriage/relationship like cooking, house management, raising kids and bringing up children losing its importance?

Why for monetary gains couples agree to stay away from each other at the prime of their marriage life?

Is our Ego larger than our Hearts now?

Is marriage just a facade in front of the society now?

Why more and more people are opting out of this institution of marriage?

Why not getting married or advising not to get married seemed to be the right thing to do?

 We @FUDOL don't know answers to many of the above questions but, we know the roots of our relationships/marriage have shaken badly and we have lost the resilient power to give in a relationship, to hang on when our partner is going through a tough time, to take responsibility of each other in a relationship has somewhere gone out of fashion. It is a powerful wave which is showing no subtlety and will sweep with itself the future generations to come if we don't stop running and just start enjoy our relationships and having the patience to give our partners all the love, care, affection, security and concreteness in the relationship.   

DARSHA Gandhi Mehta

(Psychotherapist & Counsellor, Colour & Aura Therapist, Past Life Regression Therapist, Graphologist, Angel & Crystal Advisor)

We also do Counseling via. Phone, & Online. 

www.fudoltherapies.com, +(91) 9869660362

contact@fudoltherapies.com   

    

Soul Mate - II

If you are a first time reader or have missed the first part do read our first part on Soul Mate on:

http://www.fillingupthedash-esoflife.blogspot.in/2012/10/soul-mate_17.html

Many people have asked me that:

1) Though, there is a lot of passion, love and care between me and my soul - mate but somehow it is not working between us...there are a lot of fights.

2) Though, we are completely at home with each other but, there is a lot of possessiveness which is creating a lot of insecurity in the relationship.

3) Though, we connect beautifully with each other on all the levels but, we restrict each other a lot in a relationship which is somewhere affecting our growth.

We see various relationships on television, movies, and even in Real Life... that most of the times a relationship full of passion, intensity and love does not tend to last  and fail to culminate into a long term relationship and one tends to settle down for a relationship where there is usually less passion and love and is more "practical".

There are 2 reasons why these relationships don't last long: EGO and FEAR.

When we are blessed with a relationship wherein both of them feel our partner is our soul mate. These relationship has a lot of passion and intensity. It is a dream relationship/friendship.

But, we are right from the beginning conditioned to fear and doubt any good thing happening to us...triggering all the possessiveness, insecurities, doubts, etc. And rather than fulfilling each other's role in the relationship and in each other's life and supporting each other's life mission - we start getting afraid and stop living in the present and fear about the future.

This fear instigates one to want to control the outcome of the relationship and thus domination, restriction, fights, revenge, giving back, blame games etc. start to happen.

Here, a person's Ego play an important role. If both the partners have shallow ego's the relationship will not last long but, even if one person in that relationship has strong ego than the relationship has chances of sailing through.

Definition of Shallow & Strong Ego:
http://www.fillingupthedash-esoflife.blogspot.in/2015/06/ego.html

A marriage or any long lasting relationship with your Soul Mate is one of the most beautiful, ideal, and fun - filled relationship. If you have issues handling your relationship with your soul - mates you can always contact FUDOL Therapies for assistance.      

DARSHA Gandhi Mehta

(Psychotherapist & Counsellor, Colour & Aura Therapist, Past Life Regression Therapist, Graphologist, Angel & Crystal Advisor)

We also do Counseling via. Phone, & Online. 

www.fudoltherapies.com, +(91) 9869660362

contact@fudoltherapies.com