One learns a lot of things from being in a family full of parents, siblings, uncles, aunts, cousins, grandparents. Definitely there are as many negatives as positives.
There are positives in living in a Joint Family ... but that
only gets highlighted if you have introspected... like Sacrificing and Tolerant
Nature, Children get exposure to love and care of many adults,
Developing Sustenance in Difficult Times of the Family rather than start Blaming
each other, How to maintain your Self - Respect when others are condemning you
without any solid reason, Being Assertive... It would be your School which trains you for future life.
Among few negatives there is one negative which I want to
talk: Family Politics.
Family Politics is something I could never ever understand
and never see any benefit of it in a family structure. I have seen politics
happening in almost all the families - no family whether big or small, joint or
nuclear, upper class - middle class - lower class is devoid of politics.
@FUDOL we define Family Politics as a mindset based on
Insecurity which will not let one appreciate and accept other people... which
leads to a selfish nature or a cold heart... only thinking about what's good
for oneself and not leading to good for the whole family thus, in turn not
thinking what's good for the whole nation.
For Example:
a) Rather than standing by a "weak" family
member in their difficult times one would see to it how he/she would break that
person more,
b) Rather than creating a trusting environment for your
daughter - in - law, you keep criticizing her, condemning her for no solid
reasons and keep on telling your son how bad is she.
c) Rather than instilling the right values of
Support/Patience/Tolerance between siblings - the parents instill the values of
competition, so that they can control both their children.
Many times one can see educated people and families
indulging in such politics... making one to conclude that education makes no
difference to the mind set ... our education is not changing our outlook or
narrow mindedness of our minds but, yes an example set by our parents
definitely does.
Family members by the time they turn 20 years of age have developed
the skill set to become a seasoned politician - to that extend politics is deep
seated in our families.
If adult's need to control and possess the other family members diminishes...we will have much less mess in our families. If Family Structure has to work - distribution and organization of wealth, responsibilities, duties, roles are needed so that every member is empowered with his own likes and dislikes taken into consideration and the importance of inter - dependence is also proven.
Encourage Supportiveness in the family than
Competitiveness, Encourage Problem - Solving/Solution Based talk rather than
Gossips and Bitching about Each Other, Education on being Human, Workshops for
spouses before they plan a Child are few ways families can use to change a mindset
from Family Politics to Family Togetherness.
DARSHA Gandhi Mehta
(Psychotherapist & Counsellor, Colour & Aura Therapist, Past Life Regression Therapist; Graphologist, Angel & Crystal Advisor)
We Do Online & Phone Counseling
+(91) 9869660362, contact@fudoltherapies.com www.fudoltherapies.com
+(91) 9869660362, contact@fudoltherapies.com www.fudoltherapies.com
