1950's 1960's - Our grandparent's time they were
very clear that a husband will go and earn money and take care of all the
expenses and wife would take care of the house, cook food , entertain guest,
give birth to children and raise them.
Belief: A wife is
the shadow of her husband. Husband is Wife's God (pati parmeshwar). Both of
them fulfilled their roles with conviction and full sincerity.1970's, 1980's 1990's - Our parent's though had the same concepts fit by their parents in their mind...but, since it was not their belief they had no conviction. They lacked courage to voice their opinions, views about system of marriage.
Belief: This is how it has been since ages...it has to be right. May be pati is parmeshwar...but, some how he doesn't act like one. Wife is doing all the household chores and raising children but, somewhere it is not happening like it should happen.
2000's 2010's -
With the onsite of globalization and internet getting a prominent place in our
life. Whole world was at an individual's disposal. Parents were making their
daughters as educated as their sons (which was a constructive thing) but,
parents didn't make their son understand that times have changed and your wife
will be different and will act different than what your grand mother and mother
was. On the other hand, young females were going through tremendous change in
their mind -set, their thought process were broadening, their self confidence
was increasing as they were realizing that world is much beyond cooking, household
work and birthing children.
Beliefs: Wife
feels we want a status of equal partner in the marriage whether we are working
outside or are home maker. Husband feels why can't she do things like what my
mother and grandmother used to do and give me some peace of mind. None of them
are able to fulfill any roles properly and sincerely. And thus, increasing
confusion, complications and emotional disturbances.
Lets see what are the complication:
- Wife wants to explore the whole world and husband wants
to possess her,
-Husband wants to dominate her and wife has her own
thought - process and her own ideas of life concepts,
- Husbands wants all the appreciation and his Ego is only
intact if the wife listens and does what he tells her to do, wife thinks
"I will not compromise like my mom did" and she always gets stubborn
on what she wants in life,
- Wife want her husband to fulfilling all
her needs but, she does not on the other hand take any responsibility of the
house so that the husband can peacefully go and earn money for her.
- Even if the wife is handling the house...there is
constant struggle between her and her mother - in law or the rest of his
family.
- Husband's and Wife's families continuously keep
interfering in couples life making their life's all the more complicated and
tiresome.
- Wife continuously keep feeling "If I do house work
I won't be respected" and
she keeps making half effort in that and in that fear she neither takes care of
her house properly, nor children are given justice.
With the changing world, the institution of marriage right now
is going through tremendous pressure.
We @FUDOL Therapies
say, we need to re- evaluate the purpose of marriage:
More than pro - creation, let a marriage be a union where
both of them support each other in all areas of life. Why can't a wife do her
career along with household and raising children? Why can't a husband help his
wife handle the household and in raising children? Yes, it has started in few
urban household and with couples who live independently. It should be out of respect for each other's individuality not because it is been enforced on the other partner.
Every person comes with a preconceived notions, baggage, expectations
in marriage and most of them are not able to now handle the pressures of
marriage, raising kids because they aren't working as a team - as a union. They
just want to control, dominate and overpower each other - further pushing the next generation away from Marriage as your children are definitely seeing this things.
After a lot of careful thought...FUDOL Therapies has come
out with a well balanced Pre - Marital Counseling Sessions which will have:
- Removing of past baggage, - Checking any un -
realistic expectations, - Knowing oneself better to decide on one's
partner with clarity, - Removing all the fears and negativity involving
marriage, - Family counseling, - Soul Mate Therapy Workshops, -
Family Orbit Meditation, - How to deal with an issue post - marriage in a positive
and constructive way rather than out of shallow ego and in a destructive way.
Let's Be Ourselves in front of our partners when we enter
Marriage.
Let's make Marriage an Institution where we support each
other for each other's Emotional - Spiritual Growth.
Let's work on ourselves and our marriage before we marry
rather than getting into the hassle of divorce.
For Further Details:
DARSHA Gandhi Mehta
(Psychotherapist & Counsellor, Colour & Aura Therapist, Past Life Regression Therapist, Graphologist, Angel & Crystal Advisor)
We also do Counseling via. Phone, & Online.
www.fudoltherapies.com, +(91) 9869660362
contact@fudoltherapies.com
