Are marriage really made in heaven? Then,
how is it that God is going wrong so much and divorces are increasing day by day?
First of all, I want to salute all the
couples who have spent 15 - 30 years of their life together. After I got
married, I realized the amount of sacrifices and compromises it requires for a sustenance
of a marriage. It isn't an easy task. It requires both the partners to be on
the same page - which itself is so difficult task. There is no instant
expression of gratitude...somewhere a thankless job at least when you are
compromising and sacrificing at that very moment or for few years your partner
may not be able to recognize what you have done for him/her. Handling your
partner's relatives and parents and their taunts, and demands ...most of the
times couples fight because of each other's family (very visible in Indian
Marriages). One's Self - Respect takes a big blow every second day in the
marriage.
I always used to believe when I was in
college that, if our Indian society opens up to the idea of Divorce...almost
80% of the couple would opt for it. Though, after being a part of this
institute I realized that Divorce in an Indian Society isn't an easy thing...financially and legally one is drained, not only one has to face family
pressure which drains you emotionally and mentally but also, it is not
acceptable to our Psyche... where from so many generations it has fit in our DNA
the "Importance of Being Married." This creates guilt, shame, your
self - worth hits rock bottom. In India, it is more peaceful to live in a dead
relationship than go through the process of Divorce.
Though, by heart I am a believer of
relationships. We @ FUDOL feel relationships are best learning tool for our
soul. The more one learns from the give - take dynamics of a relationship...the
more one is able to appreciate our partners. Now, we will say that ...it is our
partner's duty to do certain things for us...Aren't we taking our partners for
granted? Isn't from this that every mess starts? Why can't we on a regularly
basis start acknowledging what our partner is doing for us?
If we want to save this very mighty Institute
of Marriage from falling...we need to come out of all our old concepts like:
a) A female has to always bow down to Male
Ego...WHY? Don't females have Ego? Aren't they humans? Today's females have seen from centuries their mother and
grandmother's self respect getting crushed. They have seen that females who do
household work and bring up children aren't valued and respected in our society. That's why right now, so many females have lost their feminine side and are busy matching up to this "MALE EGO". Creating all the more confusion and upheaval in this institution.
b) Why always an in - law should be bowed
down to? Why can't a daughter - in law stand up for herself and back answer or just express herself if
she feels that they are not being treated properly. Why can't there be a
relationship of an adult i.e. relationship of mutual respect. We @ FUDOL
believe that after the age of 18 years ... everyone should be treated as an
ADULT and should be spoken to like an adult and it should start with the
parents first. The day parents treat their children like an adult and give them respect like
an adult ...accepting their desires, aspirations, listening to their views, etc. rather than bossing
around and trying to control others on the pretext of being more elder and
being more matured. That is the time, the parents will understand that the same way they
need to treat their daughter - in - laws.
You have more ideas on how to save
relationships and marriages ...let us know on our email id.
DARSHA Gandhi Mehta
(Psychotherapist & Counsellor, Colour & Aura Therapist, Past Life Regression Therapist, Graphologist, Angel & Crystal Advisor)
We also do Counseling via. Phone, & Online.
www.fudoltherapies.com, +(91) 9869660362
contact@fudoltherapies.com
